Sappy friend stuff...

So as I have said before, I recently concluded a segment of training that was very strenuous and difficult. One part of this training entailed a fair amount of forced solidarity.

When I was in the very small, very uncomfortable room listening to a looped soundtrack of screaming infants, I was conjuring up all the happy memories that I could to keep myself from going insane. I thought of every thing. I recalled the name of the majority of my 4th grade class at a small private school in Indiana. I thought of everyone who I have every labeled as my friend and recalled the memories that each person was involved in with me. When you are stuck by yourself with nothing to do but exercise the gray matter, it is really very incredible what you can recall.

Now, having been back for the better parts of two months, I still have not been able to sleep with any regularity. The only time I can actually get to sleep is when I am absolutely exhausted. I excused it at first as just an irregular sleep pattern, but I finally realize what it was. Something has been bothering to the point of depression.

Growing up is all about building relationships. For me whenever I showed up to a new school, which happened quite regularly until 5th grade, I wasn't focused on academics, I was focused on making friends. As much as I like to think I am a loner, I need people to function.

Looking back on the friends that I thought off while in the room, I could think of only a handful of them that I still talked to on a regular basis. Out of the huge list of people that I knew, I had a slight idea of what was going on in a handful of their lives.

See, when I was younger, I was always looking forward to what was going to come. I was looking forward to College. When I was in College I was always looking forward to getting out of College. We are all so focused on moving forward that we forget to stop and soak up what is around us. And when it is no longer around us we never pause to look back and take the time touch base with the people who helped carry you to where you are.

I encourage everyone to take a few hours some day and look back through your year books or look through your friends on facebook, or flip through an old photo album. Take time to recall the good times that you wished would never end. Look back at the friends that you shared your success and failures with, the best days of your lives and the worst. Better yet take some time out of your day and send them a message or call them. Check in on them. Yeah it might be awkward, but you know you could just tell them a memory you had. Because although they might not make it evident to you, they miss it too and hey...life is too short.

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."- Anais Nin